Surviving Car Travel with Kids
Car travel with children.
Driving is one of the most common and least costly modes of long distance transportation for a family (at least in the US), and thus it makes it a default for many trying to travel with tiny humans in tow. But it does have its downsides: everyone has less opportunity to move around, it generally takes longer than flying, and it also is a small space to be stuck for long periods of time. So how can this be done without everyone in the car going absolutely crazy?
I grew up driving long distances very regularly from a young age with my family of 6, and now as an adult couple with our two kids we have taken some long road trips at young ages, and we have learned some tricks. I have tried to break them down by age to help you focus on your kids' needs. Feel free to jump around to whatever is most applicable to you.
General Tips + Tricks
Motion Sickness
In my opinion, this is a tricky part of traveling no matter what form. I was the car sick kid and now I am the car sick adult who has little humans still needing help.
Here are my tips for car sick kids:
Teach them to look out the front window. Side windows help but don’t always help. Playing find-it games can help keep them engaged with what’s outside the car.
Keep the car cool for them. Cool air blowing nearby is really helpful when fighting nausea.
Fidget toys can help give their body something to do that they don’t necessarily have to see what they are doing.
Audio books or podcasts are amazing to help with wanting to read but not being able to.
There are so many more products on the market to help with motion sickness than there were when I was a kid. I have not personally tried any other remedies for motion sickness in the car, but it could be a good option if you have a particularly prone child.
As a carsick adult, here are some tricks:
Put the snacks in a very easy place to access. Even if you won’t be eating much, you will need to be able to grab and distribute quickly so you can get back to watching the road.
Mint gum can help keep the stomach from chewing itself up. Any other mint candies can also help.
Keep the car cool and airflow movement on the face, also a light and easily-removed jacket or blanket.
It’s okay to tell the kids you can’t look back at them right now. Explain that you are not feeling well and need to watch the road. Even if they are too young to understand, it will help you stay calm about it and they will start to learn as they hear you say that and then see you come back to being able to help them again after it passes.
If possible, try to switch to driving. Driving helps remove a lot of the motion sickness as you are in control of the car and your brain + body can connect the motion of the vehicle to an action you are making. This is sometimes the only way for my body to settle if it’s particularly bad.
Packing
Packing is a key part of getting a family there and back again without everyone feeling cramped and stir crazy. I have too many great hacks to share for it to fit here, so please refer to this Family Packing Hacks page for our best packing tips, our must-have items for our kids, and a free printable packing list.
Snacks
Some say a good road trip is only as good as the company, but those people may not have considered the snacks. See this article for some of our family’s favorite foods on the road and how to prepare for the length of your trip.
For the adults
Car travel can feel like a lot with kids. It is full of extra stops compared to other forms of travel and less ability to move around during the trip. Give yourselves and the kids so much grace. Even when it feels hard or like driving was a mistake, remind yourself that it will be okay and it will end. Don’t feel obligated to entertain the children the whole time, and remember that you can still enjoy the trip just for you, no matter what happens. You can control the environment to help your kids the best you can and then let go of the rest. You don’t have to control how they experience this time in the car.
Also, find ways to calm everyone’s nervous systems. Nervous system dysregulation happens more in new environments, and traveling increases this exponentially. Children not being able to have skin contact or be held directly while in the car will impact their emotional and physical regulation, as their brains still often require co-regulation of their emotions through physical contact with safe caregivers. During pit stops you may find holding hands or big hugs or any other form of physical contact, along with full body movements like running, jumping, or swinging, can help regulate and return them to a mindset to keep truckin’.
Other great ways to regulate the nervous system while on the road include:
Ice on the vagus nerve. Chewing/sucking ice (depending on the age of the child) or even holding something cold on the chest just below the clavicle can help calm the body quickly and relieve anxiety. Ice rollers are also a great option if you have one and a way to bring it.
Music can help balance the mood + reset the energy of the group after a challenging time. Put on a favorite tune, or even sing some silly songs to help with nervous system calming. We have some family favorites that we play to reset the mood; a couple great ones are Can’t Stop the Feeling - Trolls Soundtrack + Into the Unknown - Frozen Soundtrack.
Plan a longer stop in the middle of a long trip, somewhere you can walk around or hike a short distance. Be in nature, breathe the fresh air, help the kids burn some energy. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just let it be calming.
Try some breathing techniques to help calm down yourself and your kids. If you are a passenger adult, try playing a silly game with them that will lead to breathing techniques, such as: “its everyone’s birthday and we all get a cake, blow out the candles! Oh no, they didn’t go out! Try again!”
For additional ideas specific to your child, I love Seed & Sew’s Regulation Quiz (non-affiliate link) to help you better assess your child’s needs and preferences. Seed & Sew’s creator, Alyssa, also has amazing content for connection that can help pre and post traveling to fill the child’s cup and help keep a trip rolling smoothly for everyone.
I know you can do this! These suggestions are not a guarantee of no tears, but they really can help. Over time, you will get to know your child’s travel style and preferences. Soon it will come easily and you will know exactly what to plan for.
Age specific tips for children:
Newborn - 3 months
Okay, first of all I just want to say that car travel during this age group is going to be hard no matter what. And it being hard is not a sign that you are doing something wrong. At this point, that baby hasn’t even been alive 200 days so they barely are getting the hang of this whole being human thing. Give ALL of you a LOT of grace. And also make sure you are taking care of yourself.
After having my second baby, my sister was getting married 5 hours from our home. We drove to be there for the wedding when I was 2 weeks postpartum. It was a lot, and I don't regret it one bit. Here’s my best advice for this age:
Hand-powered breast pumps are your friend. And they are underrated. No plugs, no power concerns, just good old physical labor. Also, bottle feeding even this early will not ruin your child, or your connection, or their ability to eat at the breast. Yes, many people say not to do this, and I struggled with the idea of it myself. But we did what we had to do, and everyone lived. It was just a couple feedings out of their long nursing life and it was fine (and I had long years of nursing).
Make sure you start your drive after a big feed for the baby. Also make sure they have a completely dry, clean diaper. This gives you hopefully a good stretch of sleep for the first bit when everyone else is also good with being in the car to get as far as you can before they need to be fed again.
If your baby is used to a specific white noise for sleep, set it up somewhere near them for sleeping in the car. This also helped us feel like we could still chat or listen to music (quietly!) without affecting baby too much.
You will need more diapers than you think you will. And if they are close to sizing up or you are worried that it's been a bit longer than usual since their last poop, size that diaper up. No one has time for car seat blowouts.
Extra set of clothes quickly available for baby + caring adults. Spit up surprises are not fun to sit in for hours.
Research your route on this trip as MUCH as possible. Down to planned pit stops + timing it the best you can. This is not an age that you want to risk being stuck somewhere unfamiliar and in need of help. We made the mistake of not looking up our route well enough ahead of time and discovered we were literal hours from the next available gas station or any other form of a city, and if something had gone wrong it would have been a potentially dangerous situation.
For the birthing parent, please keep in mind that you have potential to still be healing early on and will be tired, need extra time for self care, and car sitting may be not highly advised by your medical professionals. Please speak with your providers before making any sort of trip in early postpartum to ensure your health + baby’s health is looked after.
Evaluate your lodging situation thoroughly. Find somewhere that will be supportive of quiet restorative rest. Also think through the bathroom carefully - standing shower vs tub shower, sink near the toilet for postpartum care, large enough space for a pack n play or a large enough bed if you cosleep, etc. These details really matter during this vulnerable time and can be worth a little more cost to protect your health.
3 months - 18 months
Kids this age still rely on a LOT of physical contact with caregivers and are learning object permanence (meaning if they can’t see you, they don’t think you are still there). They also may not be able to self soothe or self entertain as easily. Expect to be doing a lot of hand holding (literally; pretty sure my arm will never recover from the weird hand-holding angle) to help comfort them. Small, soft toys they can manipulate safely in the car seat are also a good option for this age group. Car seat mirrors can help give them the safety net of still seeing you, and seeing where the car is moving. There are lots of mixed feelings about these kinds of devices among car seat experts, so please do your own homework on this and make the best decision for your family.
Some other general tips for this age:
Bring more diapers than you think you need for the car. Also don’t be afraid to size up in the car if they are getting close to the next size. No one has time for car seat blowouts.
If your child likes a binky, try to have a few of them. Give them one at a time. Then if (read: when) it inevitably is lost somewhere you can’t reach, you can give them another out of the stash. Repeat as necessary until you can stop and find them all again.
Snacks in the car at this age can be tricky, even if they are able to start eating finger foods. If you are unable to avoid feeding them on the road, have serious focus on them while eating, choose snacks that are very safe (Cheerios + baby yogurt bites were successful for us since they quickly dissolve) and be prepared to stop in an emergency.
18 months - 3 years
This is the age our kids started really getting used to the car and not being so bothered by it. They were old enough to comprehend that even if they couldn’t see us, we were still there, and they were able to be a bit more independent and self entertaining.
We help pack a small backpack of car toys/activities for our kids during this age so they can have a variety of things to do. I recommend keeping the backpack by you and then getting one thing out at a time. They will play with it until they are bored of it, and then you can give them something else. It helps extend the self entertainment factor, and makes it easier to repeat those toys on the return trip.
If your child likes a binky, try to have a few of them. Give them one at a time. Then if (read: when) it inevitably is lost somewhere you can’t reach, you can give them another out of the stash. Repeat as necessary until you can stop and find them all again.
Snacking gets easier in the car by this age, but still expect to be careful with what you give and how much. Ensure that you can be ready to stop in an emergency.
It's also very common to potty train during this age group. This is an exciting but also often daunting time for families to travel as their kids are still learning to sense their bodies, and sitting for long periods of time can sometimes make it more difficult for them to sense what they are feeling. My recommendations for travel during this learning period are this:
Avoid traveling long distances (if possible) during the first full 2 weeks of learning potty training. This helps give them time to adjust to a new skill and really grasp it in more of life’s settings outside of the house.
If it is not possible to avoid, it is okay if you feel better just putting on a diaper/pull up for travel. Talk to your kids about this. They are smart. Tell them they are still learning and it’s okay for them to still tell you and this will just help catch anything if there is an accident.
BRING THE SMALL POTTY. Yes, in the car. They can use it in your car pulled over off the road if they need to. We keep ours right below their car seat on the floor and then we can unbuckle, do their business, and get right back on the road.
Bring so many extra clothes for them. It is worth not having to stop and buy something when you know it is likely going to be needed. Also if you can get access to laundry, it will help with the anxiety of wet or soiled clothing.
Of course don’t withhold water, but consider holding back juice or other sugary drinks during traveling as these can cause a more active bladder than just water alone.
3 years - 5 years
Personally, this has been the best age range for our kids so far with car travel. They start to be forward facing, self entertaining, they can be more participatory in planning the trip and get excited about different aspects, their ability to be patient increases (slightly), and they can help pack what will entertain them.
Plan to stop about every 3 hours for this age group for a bathroom break. We have taught our kids that on a road trip, the rule is they have to come to the bathroom with us even if they don’t think they need to pee. Usually seeing the bathroom queues it and then we avoid the power struggle and the cleanup.
This age is already known for asking constantly for snacks, but in the car it seems to triple. Try to help maintain a good food schedule, but also know they may fill up on snacks and not be very hungry at stops for food because of this. I have found it doesn’t interfere as much as I thought it would for the trip overall, just on the days we drive. Give it grace and remember it will be okay.
If screens are something you are comfortable with in your parenting, this can be a useful tool in your toolbox for longer drives. We use a tablet that is locked down tightly with age appropriate games and shows, and when the battery dies it’s over. We hang a tablet on the seat in front of them in the car; this protects the tablet + keeps it at a safe distance from small eyes. It also helps encourage proper posture.
Age appropriate audiobooks also become more fun for this age as their imaginations are so activated. We purchased both our children a Yoto Mini (non-affiliate link) and have absolutely loved using it when we travel. Our kids can be self independent with it, and its completely screen free, has a headphone jack, long battery life, and it can be a second white noise machine in a bind. You can purchase their prerecorded audiobooks or you can even read your own books for your kids and make a card!
6 years - 10 years
This is an age where kids are getting bigger and car travel may be harder just from a size perspective. Depending on how light ya’ll packed and the size of the car, this can prove to be challenging. Plan extra room for them so they can move around. Ensure they get a chance to help plan, encourage them to pick out their own snacks and drinks, and get them to pack what they need to be entertained + comfortable. Also don’t be afraid for them to be bored. Boredom helps them get to creativity, and some of the most creative things can be thought up on long car drives just like this. Family audiobook opportunities increase during this age group and can create amazing discussion opportunities. This can also be a great chance to discuss some more nuanced topics that they start to be interested in at this age but may be harder to find the time during regular busy life to fully discuss.
11 years +
This just gets better and better from a logistical standpoint. Still expect kids to be kids, but they are much more able to think through their own packing needs and will likely have strong opinions about the travel plans. Encourage them to seek out their own research, plan for the car drive, and bring items they need. Depending on their personalities, this age group is likely going to be less about logistics and more about building excitement for the trip with family. Find ways to engage them with the family in the car, like taking turns picking music or audio books. Give them the chance to be in charge of directions or a map and learn new skills while traveling. Ask them for their opinions on car snacks, restaurants/dining, and anything else that they can help get some control over. Get their buy in and the trip will be so much smoother.
